Camouflage

It's an art and if we are honest, many of us are guilty of it - Hiding in plain sight.

I got a text from my mother about two days ago telling me that my dad had been arrested. Most of you probably heard about it as it caused a bit of a stir in Kampala. He was arrested with a couple of other anti-corruption activists and detained at the police station for a couple of hours. I must confess that I had mixed feelings when I read the text as I was concerned for him but I wasn't surprised- we had been expecting something like this or worse for sometime now.

One of the main reasons why I was concerned about my dad's arrest is because I realised that it would bring to the foreground the different conflicting views abut him and the stand he was making. I hate to admit but it saddens me that he isn't as liked as he was ten years ago. People have different opinions: some think he has lost his mind, others support him, while still others mock him saying he is a priest and should stick to church business. Listening to my thoughts, I realised how concerned I am of the opinions of others not just about my father but worse still of myself and I shuddered!

I like to please people. Some would argue that it is just a character flaw being a sanguine but sometimes putting things in boxes can keep us from addressing serious issues. Why do I care so much if people think I am fat? If they think I am clever or not? Why am I 'walking on my tip-toes' in conversations, careful no to offend? Laughing even in the midst of coarse humour that is offending me just not to offend my company? Why am I willing to shelve my opinions just so people can accept me or I can fit in without looking soooo different from everyone else?

I have to grow up! Realise that not all my friends believe in my Lord- some seriously scorn Him. Not everyone will understand or agree with my life choices or political choices. I can not be neutral or sit on the fence because I am afraid of standing out. I have to accept that we are not the same any more in more ways than one and now, especially now, I must, and I need to embrace that I am different. I should not be afraid of going against the tide - if no one had, slave trade would still be legal!

To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others:

17“‘We played the flute for you,

and you did not dance;

we sang a dirge

and you did not mourn.’

18For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ 19The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.”’ But wisdom is proved right by her actions.”(Mtt 11: 15-19)

Jesus was basically saying: Regardless of what you do, you will upset some people. Bottom line is,'they' should not be the reason you do or don't do things. You should be wiser than that. And the truth is, we shall have to give an account to God. I pray that God will give us the courage we need to be different when we should. To stand up and be counted without worrying about what other people think. That also means that we need to figure out what we really think about issues, life etc... what are our own convictions and perceptions.

"No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a bowl or hides it under a bed. A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light can be seen by all who enter the house.(Lk8:16)

Bikukwatako? (How does it touch on you?)

Competition. It is such a part of our lives. Right from when we are children, there are positions in class, when you run a race, play a game, even our country is called a third world country.(3rd is generally considered a good position unless there's only 3). It gets really complicated when we get older and we still want to be the first or at least, not to be the last. I think it was easier when we were in class and it was clear what the competition is about. But now, everything gets all mixed up!

Some argue that competition is not healthy and can lead to self esteem issues; they go as far as giving all the children medals and saying that 'everyone is a winner'. Others argue that absence of competition encourages severe mediocrity.

I remember coming home with either results from a test/exam or a report card. Sometimes I would explain my poor performance to my father by stating that the WHOLE class performed badly! Somehow, that excuse never worked even later when I joined a school where they would give us sheets with everybody's marks. My dad only looked at my marks and would always insist that I could do better. It was like he wanted me to be the best that I could be and that had nothing to do with everyone else.

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them...

When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”   John 21:20-22

Its like Jesus was telling Peter: Bikukwatako? How is it your concern/ business what plans I have for him? Do your part, which is to follow me. Sometimes we can get so preoccupied wondering what other people are doing: if they are dating, married, what job they have, how much they are earning, what car they are driving..compared to us? We sometimes think, we were in class together in Primary school but this person is already soooo ahead, how did I get left behind? We begin frantic catch up measures such as dating the next bum that shows interest, taking paying jobs whilst passing up ones that we are really interested in, taking loans we can't afford to service to buy a car we can't afford to keep on the road!

I had to be honest with myself that what was hard for me about this phase of my life- when I am not working or studying or having babies is I felt like I was being left behind. Like we were all running, I had started well but now, I was being left behind. The question is, behind who? The more I thought about it, the more I realised everyone was living their own lives.  I have had to relearn a few things:

1. Run your race - I believe God has a race 'marked out' for each one of us and it is not the same. (Heb 12:1b) Sprint runners aren't good at marathon and vice versa. I had to ask myself: What is my race? 

2. Compete with yourself (Gal 6:4)

3. It takes a little time sometimes. Yeah, it took Joseph close to 20 years before the fulfilment of his dreams, Jesus started His ministry at 30 years!

The bottom line is you have to be honest with yourself. Are you really giving your best? Trying your hardest where you are at? Can you do better or more? If the answer is yes, be committed to that.

Australia day :-)

So.. The 26th of January happens to be a pretty important day on two different continents for 3 reasons: 1. NRM day (when the leading party in Uganda took over governance)

            2. My dear friend J.A.K's  birthday. (Happy Birthday by the way :-) )

            3. Australia day (commemorates the arrival of the first British fleet in Sydney)

Yes, it is a bit strange that they do not have an 'Independence day' like we do and one could thus argue that 'independence' is over-rated. The Queen of England is technically considered to be the head of state though she has a representative here.

Australia day is such a big deal- there were even fireworks on Melbourne! A lot of people feel very patriotic wearing the colours of the flag and partying. I really appreciate the fact that since the day fell on a weekend, Monday is automatically given as a public holiday nationwide! Everybody is clearly in high spirits about having an extended weekend. In the spirit of partying, we(the husband and I) were invited for a barbecue breakfast which was loads of fun. Lots of flags, food, great company and I even got someone to sing me the national anthem :-) 

There are a couple of things that are considered 'Australian'. For example, saying Australia without pronouncing the 'l' (try it!), Billy tea and Pavlova. Pavlova is a really yummy dessert that has a meringue(pronounced 'merang' please!) base. I decided that in honour of Australia day, I had to take up the challenge. The recipe includes eggs, sugar, cornflour, vinegar and lots of fruit. The outcome was not perfect but there were no left overs so I think that is a good sign. I took a picture for the visa office- maybe it will convince them that I belong here.

P.S The next time I am in Uganda, I really need to get a flag! Maybe I can host a party here on Independence day. I wonder what food I would serve people?

Nakolantya????!!!!

"And help us to be wise,
In times when we don't know.."

You might have heard those lines in The Prayer by Yolanda Adams and Donnie McClurkin. I have been in that time for a while now. The time when 'I don't know'. Its kinda hard to describe unless you are in it or have been in it but I'll try.

To study or not to study? Studying is a great idea but where is the money for it? To dump the dude or just stick with him? He ain't no prince charming by far but there doesn't seem to be any of those in sight.  To stay put or quit your job that is draining the years out of you and yet there isn't another a knocking? To tell her you like her or to accept and just be 'good friends'?

I was encouraged recently by Gen 12: 1- 2

The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you. I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing."

God did not give Abram a heads up as to where he was leading. No map. Just an assurance of His presence (guidance). Sometimes God doesn't show us the whole path but He leads us a day at a time, a step at a time, little by little(Ex23:30). But we can trust His presence and that He is looking out for us to make us a blessing. Sometimes you have to take the leap of faith. Other times, you have to wait patiently for the right time before you jump. May God help us to be wise in times when we don't know.  

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 2Chron 20:12

The tree can grow

"How will I be able to make my marital bed?" A question that bothered me from about the age of 7 or 8. I would stand at the foot of my parents queen size bed which looked enormous at the time and wonder to myself. Attempts to make it were quite futile as I would have to sleep on the bed to get to all the corners. (Maybe that is what that proverb '..as you make your bed, you must lie in it' was all about?)

Watching my mother bake cakes, cookies.. even the food tasted different when she cooked! She sewed up pajamas for us (from scratch) and even made vaseline one time!!! I would wonder if I would ever be able to be a good mother or wife.

In first year medical school, I often wondered how I would be able to cut people open then send them home alive. How I would be able to figure out what is wrong with people and prescribe the right drugs for them in the correct dosages???

When we were children at home and were running late for school in the morning, my mum would get really upset and tell us that in her days, she had to carry matooke to the market and sell it before getting to school(which they had to walk to). How could we(my siblings and I) be late yet all we had to do was wake up, dress up and eat breakfast which she had already made???!!!! She would then add to my sister and I: If you cannot prepare yourself, what will you do when you have three babies and a husband??!!

You must admit, she made a valid point. But I guess years later I have realised that I needed not be afraid of these things. I can now make a bed, cut people open, prescribe drugs and have an organised home(most of the time :-) ). 

I thank God that in spite of the fear, I am growing and I am learning. I don't always get it right but I am growing and I am learning. I don't know what it is that you are afraid of. You can learn. You can grow.

I baked this(True story!!!)- Red velvet cake with cream cheese icing and strawberry topping.

2Tim 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

Umusatsi!!!!!

Glory days :-)

I have always looooved having hair. As a child(About 6yrs old), I wrote my first song which went something like this:
You better need to look at my hair oh!
You better need to look at my hair oh!
You better need to look at my hair oh!
Because it is very long :-)  (my siblings know the tune)

I remember crying when I had lice from nursery school and was told the only solution was cutting it all off! I cried and cried till my mother had mercy. The one time I failed to cry myself out of a hair cut was when I joined Nakasero Primary School after failing the interview for Kitante Primary school where they allowed kids to have hair. I lost it all. That was the end of hair and ribbons:-( (very sad face)

It is possible that one of the major reasons I wanted to go to Gayaza High School is because the girls could keep their hair long. I wanted it that badly. We used to even wash our hair with avocado and eggs! Thankfully, the hair grew and even became glorious. I would take time in prayer to thank God for my hair.(Sounds vain right?)

For someone like me to now be thinking of cutting my hair- that's a BIG deal!! But I'll be honest, it is just not loving this bulaaya plot. Having hair plaited here costs an arm and a leg. It is also hard to find a salon that understands my nviri. I knew that before I came so I tried to be prepared- came with hair oil and a hair iron(not enough? maybe!)

In a lot of pics of girls overseas- truth is everything else usually looks great but the hair is the biggest fox! Braids last as long as pooooossible and our hair tends to struggle. I know that there are overcomers and I look forward to learning their tips.

I have had to temporarily abandon the cutting idea cause haircuts here cost an arm- especially if you need it done every 2 weeks. And if I wanted to re-grow the hair- it would be a chore! Looks like I am keeping the hair! At least for now.

Nze njagala Dollar!

One of the first things that anyone going to any Bulaaya  is told is that when spending money, they should not convert to Uganda shillings. 1 dollar is 1(the smallest possible counting number) not 2,580 shillings. The reason for this becomes obvious after a few minutes in a supermarket abroad. One realises that tomato sauce cannot possibly cost more than 10,000ugx! 

When I first arrived, we got here after midnight and had to pass by a convenience store to grab a bite. I am really economical- ask anyone who knows me. It is sometimes a good thing but can be a flaw. Anyway, I generally really look at price tags and it helps determine what I do or don't buy. Needless to say, I was disoriented! I hadn't used Australian dollars before- had had a bit more exposure to American ones and pounds. Naye these ones.. I was confused! Didn't know how much anything really was so I just walked around puzzled and let hubby figure out what we'd eat.

Since then I have gotten a bit better. I now do the grocery shopping without fainting. 

Last week, I spent some hours in a second hand shop. It was strangely refreshing. Its the one place where my mind can freely convert currencies. I almost uploaded pictures of my purchases naye who does that??!!!!! Not even me! And trust me, one would not be able to tell the where I got this stuff :-) Its my own Owino here- without the chaos and bargaining(which I am not good at). However, it shares the perks of having to go through a whole load of things to find the diamond in the rough.