The world that is

Over the last couple of weeks I have been involved in discussions (that I confess did get pretty heated at times) on the following:

1. Provision of needles and supervised injection rooms for drug users.
2. Legalisation of abortion and provision of safe abortion services.
3. The famous billboard around Mulago-Wandegeya: IF CHEATING, USE A CONDOM.
4. Provision of condoms in schools.

As health professionals we are very concerned about helping keep people alive. Preserving life is what it is about. Allow me to expound a little on the 'strategies' mentioned above:

•  If people can inject themselves properly with new needles- less Hepatitis C and fewer chances of vascular diseases that can even lead to sepsis, loss of limbs and death. 
• Research has shown that in Uganda for example, abortion related deaths account for 26% of maternal mortality so if abortion services were provided, we could keep more women alive(1).
• You don't have to be a statistician to know that extramarital affairs are going on. In 2008, 43% of the new HIV infections in adults were among people in monogamous discordant relationships(2). That is a pretty high percentage for married people and those cohabiting so yes, cheating is happening. Condoms can help them not infect their partners (or themselves in the first place) so that everyone can live longer, we can have fewer orphans and less donor money required to pay for drugs.

I am about to finish making a case. You see.. the data says that in Uganda, boys have their first sexual encounter on average at 18 and girls at 16 which is earlier in the low/uneducated(3). So if people are having sex that early(this study was done in 2006), why not provide condoms for the teenagers, prevent HIV(we must remember that there are a number of HIV positive adolescents who were acquired the virus from their mothers) and keep everybody living longer. Surely, how can I or anyone be opposed to life?

I must ask: Is it enough for our goal to be preservation of life? Are we sure that there is nothing being sacrificed or traded-off in the process? Are we creating a 'better' world for our children's children? What do we even mean by 'better'? We must remember that there are things that are not easily measured.

Clearly, the world I want is not the world that is. I am in the world that is. And it is not easy. There are various issues that need to be addressed but I am convinced that the 'HOW' is very important so that in the process of trying to stay alive, we do not become people that we hate. Life is more than just living but one can say that that is easier to say when you are still alive. I am committed to trying to figure out the how. You see, I can not live in my little bubble- I have a part to play in this world.

What does the Bible have to say about a lot of this? A lot I am sure but one of the things that surprised me is how even in the garden of Eden, man got to choose.

Light of the world, You stepped into this darkness to bring light and true life. Abundant life. Help me to see the world with your eyes. Help me to represent you and help those struggling in the dark to see your light. Your light that brings true life.


"Health is not merely the absence of disease but complete physical mental and social well being..." World Health Organisation.

Again

I find it hard to ask for things. Just know, even pocket money from my parents(Aby can testify). I was one of those kids who would return home with pocket money after having even been asked on Visiting day if I needed some and I would have said I was still okay. I know, who does that!! I wish they had put all the money that I refused in a fund and could give it to me NOW!!!!

Asking is so hard or me. My dad once said that it is pride that keeps me from asking and I don't know that I agree with him. I guess its not nice to feel 'needy' and like a 'bother'. The 'Art of begging' proposes that you don't ask the same person more than twice. You go around and ask different people and hope they never meet and have a conversation about you.

Strangely, sometimes I find it hard to keep asking God for different things, one after another.

 "Lord help me figure out what I should be doing with my life- I want to honour You... Lord I want to go back to school please help me with university applications... Lord please provide school fees- the rates are high... Lord help me with reading and studying as the stuff gets confusing... Lord assignments now, help me figure out what to do, do it well and hand in on time... Lord this... Lord that..."

When struggling with weaknesses its so much harder because of the continual need for repentance and grace. Its usually easier to ask on behalf of other people because that is not so 'selfish'. People generally get tired of being asked repeatedly so its easy to think that God does too but He doesn't.

(John 12:28) Jesus prayed: Father, glorify your name!" Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it AGAIN." 

He says He will do it again! I should not be afraid to ask. Far be it from me that the reason I do not receive is that I do not ask! Let us come to Him again and again and again and again and again. Its okay, He doesn't mind. I like the way Donnie puts it in his song. 

Have a lovely end-of-the-week :-) 

And Lord.. when You glorify Yourself in my life, help me remember to come back to say thank you.

Smiley face :-)

You are here!
Yaaaay! Yaaay oh my soul!
You are here!
Here with me :-)
Here to stay.

You haven't come to visit.
To sweep me up in a moment's pleasure,
And leave when you see my ugly.
You want to stay.

You want to stay with me.
Even when I make you mad,
Even when I am just fake.

You love me.
And I feel it in my bones,
And I know it in my head
(So I can remember when you make me mad!)

Baby,
It amazes me how much you have made room for me,
In every part of your life!
You don't say say 'me' but 'we'
Not 'mine' but 'ours'.

With you, I can be me!
I can be crazy me, serious me
Sad me, happy me,
Loud me, quiet and needy me.
I can be ME!
And I can grow into a better me

You are in my corner.
I come back to you,
At the end of a great day or a not-so-great-day,
I come home to you.
I know that even in the crowds,
I am not alone anymore.
I am with you,
You are with me,
My husband, my love, my home.

Home

Musings

I have had the honour and challenge of telling people their HIV status. Its so much easier telling other people! When I returned from working in Mbale, I knew I had to do an HIV test. I had been doing operations and truthfully..sometimes when taking off the gloves, I would find that they had gotten torn in the process without my noticing and I had blood on my hands. Yes, the patient was HIV positive. This didn't happen once. Plus all the splashes that would sometimes happen when someone is bleeding and the focus is to stop it A.S.A.P! Anyway, I know I should have been more careful or taken drugs after being exposed.(By the way,that's what y'all should do!!) A test was a big deal and I was kinda anxious about the results because I knew it would be my fault if I was positive. Eh! The pressure sitting on that bench while I waaaaaaaaaaaaited. Thankfully I was negative.

The problem with such results is that in as much as they are great, its not like you get promoted to the next class where there is no HIV and you won't ever have to sit the test again or that there are no chances ever again that you could be positive. Its not even like a driving test which once you pass, all you have to do is keep renewing the licence. Truth is depending on your 'activities', you can even become positive within the hour.

I guess in many areas of life we just want to know that we are done and dusted with particular things, that they will not come back. But this is not often the case. So we find that when the battle is back, we are found with no armour and no weapons to fight.

You might know the story in the Bible of Jesus' temptation. At the end, when the enemy failed, it says: he(the devil) departed from Him(Jesus) until an opportune time. (Lk4:13) There is also the story of the evil spirit which had left a person and after wandering around, says to itself: ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ (Lk 11:24) Excuse me please!! You will what???!!!

It is so annoying that it is not over until it is over! I am surprised when I find myself at this point in my adult life, struggling to be confident; battling to keep away from profane images, kwegamba my list is long(feel free to share yours :-) ) Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to make everyone(including myself) fearful but I pray that God will help us to wake up and be alert.

I was recently reminded that it is not just about 'preserving myself' or 'fleeing' from evil but it is more important to actually 'pursue' righteousness. To seek what is good, to grow, develop become better, know the Lord more, not to be afraid of the risks of 'investment' to the extent that when my master returns, I return to him the 'saved' and unused, unfruitful talent that He gave me.

A guy at church put it nicely:
" I realise that in my backyard, when I don't have grass growing, there are weeds and when I have grass, there are no weeds." 

Grace, take time to plant some grass; it might save you the stress of weeding.