Musings

I have had the honour and challenge of telling people their HIV status. Its so much easier telling other people! When I returned from working in Mbale, I knew I had to do an HIV test. I had been doing operations and truthfully..sometimes when taking off the gloves, I would find that they had gotten torn in the process without my noticing and I had blood on my hands. Yes, the patient was HIV positive. This didn't happen once. Plus all the splashes that would sometimes happen when someone is bleeding and the focus is to stop it A.S.A.P! Anyway, I know I should have been more careful or taken drugs after being exposed.(By the way,that's what y'all should do!!) A test was a big deal and I was kinda anxious about the results because I knew it would be my fault if I was positive. Eh! The pressure sitting on that bench while I waaaaaaaaaaaaited. Thankfully I was negative.

The problem with such results is that in as much as they are great, its not like you get promoted to the next class where there is no HIV and you won't ever have to sit the test again or that there are no chances ever again that you could be positive. Its not even like a driving test which once you pass, all you have to do is keep renewing the licence. Truth is depending on your 'activities', you can even become positive within the hour.

I guess in many areas of life we just want to know that we are done and dusted with particular things, that they will not come back. But this is not often the case. So we find that when the battle is back, we are found with no armour and no weapons to fight.

You might know the story in the Bible of Jesus' temptation. At the end, when the enemy failed, it says: he(the devil) departed from Him(Jesus) until an opportune time. (Lk4:13) There is also the story of the evil spirit which had left a person and after wandering around, says to itself: ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ (Lk 11:24) Excuse me please!! You will what???!!!

It is so annoying that it is not over until it is over! I am surprised when I find myself at this point in my adult life, struggling to be confident; battling to keep away from profane images, kwegamba my list is long(feel free to share yours :-) ) Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to make everyone(including myself) fearful but I pray that God will help us to wake up and be alert.

I was recently reminded that it is not just about 'preserving myself' or 'fleeing' from evil but it is more important to actually 'pursue' righteousness. To seek what is good, to grow, develop become better, know the Lord more, not to be afraid of the risks of 'investment' to the extent that when my master returns, I return to him the 'saved' and unused, unfruitful talent that He gave me.

A guy at church put it nicely:
" I realise that in my backyard, when I don't have grass growing, there are weeds and when I have grass, there are no weeds." 

Grace, take time to plant some grass; it might save you the stress of weeding.