Lies

I re-watched Inception pretty recently (does over one month ago count as recent?)Well, I was intrigued by the movie in so many ways maybe because this time I understood what was going on (I thinkJ). Anyway, if you haven’t watched it, I think you should. It’s basically about a guy(Dominic Cobb) who together with another guy (Arthur), major in extracting information from people’s subconscious while they sleep. Contrary to their usual speciality, they are tasked to plant an idea into the subconscious of a business rival of their employer. The reward was enticing and they were not left with much of a choice so they embark on this project.

Cobb eventually describes how he had done this before with his wife Mal. He says while they slept, that he planted a thought in what he descibes as 'her deepest and secret place'. Even when she awoke, that thought possessed her and subsequently led to her ruin.

It has been said by countless people in countless forums that we need to watch our thoughts. Some people even say it in cool ways like: Your attitude determines your altitude! Think positively… How you think affects/determines what you can or can’t do... There is nothing more powerful than a thought... Blah... blah... blah... These things are true but I think that there is something we are still missing.

During the Inception process Cobb and his associates had to be careful so that their target would not realise that the thought was not his. It had to be done carefully for if he realised that it was foreign, he would fight it and reject it.

There are things that were planted deep within us. They are so deep that we cannot see or realise that they are not true. We cannot see that they are thoughts and lies that we embraced which have become a part of us. They are so deep that we don’t fight against them. They have become a part of our default settings. Some of these lies were incepted by our parents, television, movies, friends, conclusions we derived from observing people or things. Getting rid of these things is hard because the lie has blended so well with reality that it is hard to tell apart.

Everyone who has ever read my blogs or been my friend knows that I struggled in Medical school- especially the earlier years. I can still remember the day that I saw the lie which had penetrated my being. I remember stopping and staring in awe. You see… I had good grades growing up but when I got to medical school, I felt like my brain had gone into a deep sleep and stopped working properly or something. I believed that I had become and was STUPID. It almost seems funny now but it really wasn’t then. I remember the day I first saw it for the lie it was. I was in Soroti, talking to the Lord and He showed me that it wasn’t true. It was not real. It was just a lie that had received power when I believed it.

I watched on television last week a beautiful girl who acidified her own face because she thought she was ugly. Lies I tell you. Lies!!! She sees the truth now but she cannot go back. Her face has had scarring and isn’t yet even fully recovered from the damage done.

The devil is the father of lies and he does like messing with our minds. Maybe you believe that no matter how hard you try, you won’t amount to much or you won’t get better? Maybe it’s that you can only do one thing and nothing else? That you have always been a weakling? Maybe it’s that you are ‘unlucky’ or maybe you blame yourself for something that happened and carry the guilt with you? Hey, I don’t know! But I pray that God will help you see the lies that you have believed which are holding you in bondage and that He will set you free. I pray that God will help us to continue to pay attention to the way we think so that we may think on things that are true, perfect, praiseworthy, good etc (Phil 4:8) For:

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. (Prov 23:7)

Begin again

Sometimes when I am having a groggy day that isn’t going too well, I like to take a shower or a nap, wake up and 'restart' my day. I guess in some way I kinda feel like I am giving myself a fresh start and a chance to redeem the rest of the day. Put the crap behind me and somehow move forward. Believe it or not, it actually helps.

It does suck though when I am sewing a hem and have gone quite a distance only to realise that no, I cannot sew over the wrongly place stitches, I have to take them out and begin again. I guess in life it is pretty comforting when we can just patch things up. Paint over the cracks in the wall… Wear a hat or cute band over those month old braids… Backspace or press delete while writing that endless dissertation… Put a safety pin over that place where buttons should be or was it a zip? Hearing a strange sound from the car while driving, ignoring it until it’s almost screaming at you. Going to the mechanic with fingers crossed, hoping he’ll say it’s a lose screw that needs tightening but he says it: You need a new engine. Yes, an engine!!!

A few months ago, I woke up to turn on my laptop and it just did not come on. This could not be happening because I had used it without any problems the previous day. Anyway, being in Bulaya, I figured my chances of getting it up and running that day were pretty good. I went to a computer guy who said it. The laptop was done, crashed or whatever.

I think one of the things I found difficult about my break up was the thought of having to start over. Eh! All the time and feelings put into this would have to be let go. Eh! How??!! Banange, it felt like leaving with nothing to show for the years with resulting uncertainty ahead. Yup. Taking a shower is much easier.

Even when we know that the overall outcome isn’t that great, anything is better than having to begin again!!!! The WORK involved is just too much!!!! We just want to give things a quick fix. Everyone knows that filling up potholes is definitely easier than fixing the whole road.

In John 3:3 Jesus says it. “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.” If that is not extreme I don’t know what is! I can’t even bear the thought of having to go through med school again but He wants me to begin from birth??!!!! Kyoka! Eh! Jesus seems to be really serious about this begin again stuff. Hmmmm… Yup. He agrees with the laptop guy and the mechanic guy that there are things beyond fixing or patching up: You and me. No patches. 

His newness is not compatible with my oldness. He came and wants to make me new. He isn’t afraid of the work. Obviously it is a process! Unlearning things, teaching me, moulding me, helping me get rid of the crap and actually making me who He wants me to be. It aint gonna be like instant tea or coffee but more like the process of getting fine wine. He is willing and by His grace you too can begin again.

“Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins for the wine would burst the wineskins, and the wine and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins.” Mark 2:21- 22 NLT

Clean slate

I remember a time when I needed this.

I guess sometimes part of the problem is that we don't realise that we ain't clean no more but quite far from it and the dirt isn't the kind that can just be shaken off or brushed off with a cloth or a new brush with fresh bristles. Yeah.. That even after soaking deep in omo(with power foam),the stain will remain. And Jik bleach just wont do it. The stain is too deep.

Forgiveness is so hard to offer and many times it is also hard to receive. It is hard to believe that He can give you a clean garment. Not because of anything you could have done to deserve it but He pays for it for you cause no amount of saving will get you there. He buys it for you and gives it to you. Clean. White. It makes no sense.

I am sure it made no sense to her either. Just a few minutes before she had been caught red handed with some guy that somehow no one was bothered about. Just a few minutes before, she had been dragged in the streets. Just a few minutes before, they were ready to stone her. And they had brought her to this Jesus for him to pass the verdict while they held the stones in heir hands. Wait.. what was that he said? He told those who had never sinned to be the first to cast a stone. She waited. Held her breath. Heard stones dropping but they were not at her, they fell as the crowd dispersed. Still too ashamed to lift her head, Jesus straightened her up and asked:

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” :-)

I know we justify our ills so much today. Claiming that there is no such thing as black and white at all...just different shades: blue, green, grey, red etc. 'What's so wrong with that?' we ask. The answer which is often more obvious when we are the offended or when we are observing other people's lives and not our own.

"..through this man Jesus, there is forgiveness of sins"

Acts 13: 38