Begin again

Sometimes when I am having a groggy day that isn’t going too well, I like to take a shower or a nap, wake up and 'restart' my day. I guess in some way I kinda feel like I am giving myself a fresh start and a chance to redeem the rest of the day. Put the crap behind me and somehow move forward. Believe it or not, it actually helps.

It does suck though when I am sewing a hem and have gone quite a distance only to realise that no, I cannot sew over the wrongly place stitches, I have to take them out and begin again. I guess in life it is pretty comforting when we can just patch things up. Paint over the cracks in the wall… Wear a hat or cute band over those month old braids… Backspace or press delete while writing that endless dissertation… Put a safety pin over that place where buttons should be or was it a zip? Hearing a strange sound from the car while driving, ignoring it until it’s almost screaming at you. Going to the mechanic with fingers crossed, hoping he’ll say it’s a lose screw that needs tightening but he says it: You need a new engine. Yes, an engine!!!

A few months ago, I woke up to turn on my laptop and it just did not come on. This could not be happening because I had used it without any problems the previous day. Anyway, being in Bulaya, I figured my chances of getting it up and running that day were pretty good. I went to a computer guy who said it. The laptop was done, crashed or whatever.

I think one of the things I found difficult about my break up was the thought of having to start over. Eh! All the time and feelings put into this would have to be let go. Eh! How??!! Banange, it felt like leaving with nothing to show for the years with resulting uncertainty ahead. Yup. Taking a shower is much easier.

Even when we know that the overall outcome isn’t that great, anything is better than having to begin again!!!! The WORK involved is just too much!!!! We just want to give things a quick fix. Everyone knows that filling up potholes is definitely easier than fixing the whole road.

In John 3:3 Jesus says it. “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.” If that is not extreme I don’t know what is! I can’t even bear the thought of having to go through med school again but He wants me to begin from birth??!!!! Kyoka! Eh! Jesus seems to be really serious about this begin again stuff. Hmmmm… Yup. He agrees with the laptop guy and the mechanic guy that there are things beyond fixing or patching up: You and me. No patches. 

His newness is not compatible with my oldness. He came and wants to make me new. He isn’t afraid of the work. Obviously it is a process! Unlearning things, teaching me, moulding me, helping me get rid of the crap and actually making me who He wants me to be. It aint gonna be like instant tea or coffee but more like the process of getting fine wine. He is willing and by His grace you too can begin again.

“Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins for the wine would burst the wineskins, and the wine and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins.” Mark 2:21- 22 NLT