If you knew... you would ask

When I found out that we were pregnant, I had many mixed emotions. I was happy, excited that our little person was growing inside me. However, I was also quite freaked out. It was daunting to think about being a parent in this crazy day and age, not to mention that money was not flowing like water and my career mix was up in the air. I was glad it's universally acceptable not to tell everybody immediately. I really appreciated the time to process :-)

From time to time the anxieties would creep in... (Grace, O you of little faith). There were days of tears (let's blame the hormones;-) ) and days of excited anticipation. And days of anxiety like after visiting baby shops and looking at the price tags for those little clothes!!! Goodness!!! (I still have no idea what we are paying that much for). Anyway, one Sunday while at church, the Lord spoke to me again from what might be a familiar Bible story of "the woman at the well":

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”Jn 4:7-10 (colours mine)

Jesus was asking her for water but in fact, He wanted to give her what she really needed- to quench a thirst that was so deep within her. You get that? He asked her for something but actually He wanted to give to her. Since then, often when I start to feel overwhelmed and aware of my inadequacies, I remember that even when Jesus asks me to be a parent, I need to know who it is that asks me and ask Him... I need to ask Him...

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Pet 1:3

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corr 12:9 

 I am grateful for the many ways that the Lord encouraged me. Like that time a random neighbour whom I had never spoken to before offered us baby clothes or even that time I got that phone call offering me a job:-) God is helping me realise that as much as I had felt like we "planned" to have this baby, it really was His idea and it was Him who was forming her(as I soon discovered) within me and will enable us to do this parenting thing.

With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. (Ps 18:29)